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Fighting Him Dancing was something I was not good at. A fact which Jamie Gallions was finding that out in the most painful way possible. By trying to dance with me. In-front of all these pack members. As we moved together, I tried giving him more space since all I could do was step on his toes, but even that I managed to mess up. I retreated too far. Making him stretch awkwardly in order to hold onto me. Causing our feet to bump yet again. I was making a terrible mess of things and people were starting to stare. I looked over Jamie’s shoulder and saw Ajax gesturing at me furiously as his father, the Alpha, said something to him. Ajax’s hand dropped. He looked furious as the alpha walked away from him. He stared after the alpha, nearly quaking with wrath. “Your brother looks angry.” I remarked. “He always looks like that.” Jamie shrugged. Adding ruefully. “But you certainly bring out the best in him.” “Does he hate just me,” I queried since the subject was brought up. “Or all females?” “All of them, I suspect.” Jamie remarked. “Never seen one he’s been nice to.” That explains a lot.  I thought. Vaguely consoled that it was my gender, rather than me in particular, that he couldn’t stand. “How will he be Alpha if he doesn’t take a mate?” “Ajax?” Jamie turned his head to give me a shocked look. Blue eyes wide and sandy blonde hair loose around his face. “He’s not going to be.” “But...” I looked from Ajax to Jamie in confusion. Jamie was clearly smaller, younger...Nicer. But Ajax was huge and wound with muscle like a warrior. “As the eldest, shouldn’t he be?” “He should’ve been. But he never wanted to train with father in order to learn how to be the Alpha. He avoided the act anytime the rest of us trained. So…father eventually bypassed him.” Which would make Jamie the alpha’s heir now. I stared at him in surprise. He didn’t have the same intimidating presence as Madrik or Ajax. If I didn’t already know he was one of the alpha’s heirs I wouldn’t have guessed he was Madrik’s son. “Maybe that’s why he’s angry.” I suggested. Trying to imagine what it would be like to spend your childhood planning to be the next alpha of your pack only to have your father determine you weren’t good enough. I know what it feels like to not know my father at all, that’s bad enough. To know the rejection of a father seemed like the worst thing I could imagine. “No...I think he’s angry for reasons I best not discuss just now. Now while he can hear.” Now I was curious. My brows lifted. “For now.” He bumped my shoulder with his which made me giggle. “You can imagine how kindly he’d take to knowing we were talking about him.” I glanced up and spotted the severe man across the wave of people. “Now, you must tell me.” Ajax stood against the wall of one hut. Far in the background of the festivities, with one foot propped on thew all behind him with arms crossed solidly over his broad chest. He was watching everyone but as if he could feel my study, his eyes flicked to me. I looked away instantly. “Here.” Jamie kindly swung me around so my back was to Ajax. So I don’t have to meet that look of loathing. The problem was that when he did, he clutched my hand a bit tighter to sweep me off my feet. It caused the wounds on my hand to bleed the smallest bit. “Ouch.” I hissed. Snatching my hand away. Jamie peered down and glimpsed the wounds. “Oh, those are deep, aren’t they.” “They don’t really hurt.” Jamie caught a whiff of the blood wafting up from my hand. Like invisible steam rising from my skin it crept into his nostrils which flared in response. His eyes yellowed and the pupils narrowed. For a moment he looked at me with a nearly feral expression. I released his other hand and took a long step back. My other hand was caught and yanked to whirl me around. I bumped into the solid chest of Ajax Gallions. “What did I tell you about that hand?” He demanded. “Ajax?” Jamie said. Ajax nodded a greeting to him, disdain all over him. He gestured to me. “Ah.” Jamie nodded. “He wants you to give our newest female some attention.” Newest female? I’ve always been here! I though defensively. Then I realized the second part of what he’d said. I don’t want his attention! I didn’t really have a choice as Jamie waved to me as if Ajax should have his way. As if he’s merely handing over a bit of rope, rather than a woman. “I asked you what I told you about that hand?” He reiterated, now that it was apparent that Jamie would not be interfering again on my behalf. I yanked my wrist from his grip. “I don’t see how it’s any of your business.” I took a long step back from him but he chased it. Closing the gap to glower down at me. “It is when every male here can catch the scent of you. Mere days before the Mating Moon. Are you trying get yourself attacked?” “I’m not doing anything wrong!” I backed up another nervous step. Slipping between people dancing. “You are. You’re irritating me.” He moved through the people far easier. They separated for him. Clearing a path as they shrank from his way. “I wish to dance.” I threw up my chin. Not wanting him to see any hint of fear because I suspected he would feast on it. “Fine.” He said acidly, his lip curling in disdain. He snatched my unhurt hand again and yanked me into him. “Then you can dance with me.” His other hand landed on my hip, turning me in step with him. I gasped at the sudden contact of his body. I stared up at him in astonishment. “What are you doing.” “Ensuring you’ll leave.” He said flatly. Those eyes narrowing. He’s purposely trying to intimidate me. “You are not going to frighten me!” He threw back his head and laughed. A burst of chilly sound. When he’d finally finished, without missing a single step of the dance, he levelled those hard eyes back on me as he said flatly. “The hell I don’t.” I swallowed and lifted my chin stubbornly. Wanting him to consider that he might be wrong, though I wasn’t foolish enough to deny it any further. “I can’t dance, I should get something to drink.” I said in an effort to get him to let me go. “Seems to me like you’re doing fine.” He rotated and adjusted one leg so it was positioned between my knees. He stared over my head as he boredly stated. “Just feel the movement in my leg and you’ll know what to do.” He made it sound as if it meant nothing but being this close to him and feeling the bulging strength in his thigh between mine, was about enough to make my mouth go dry. I swallowed nervously. Feeling a tremor run through me every time we made contact. I was suddenly filled with self-doubt. “You were debating with my brother why I’m such an angry wolf.” I hesitated only a moment before admitting it. “You’ve good hearing.” “Exceptional actually. I can hear the smallest sound clear across the meadow beyond this camp.” I barely heard him. It was hard not to notice how much larger he was than me. At my height I faced the crease running down the center of his chest, which was bulged with muscle. Both of my hands were swallowed by his larger, stronger ones. If I tried to pull away, he could easily crush those bones like twigs. The strength he exuded was barely leashed, as if he were a wild animal. Or a rogue. “Why do you think I might be so angry?” “I’d assume if a male is not nice to any of the she-wolves, he’s more likely to be...angry.” To my surprise he laughed again. But this one wasn’t a rough barking sound. It was genuine and revealed a row of level, white teeth which changed his whole face. Dimples appeared to frame his mouth and crinkles formed at the edges of his blue eyes. At first it was a short sound but then it grew slightly louder until it was a robust sound of amusement. “I’d guess you’re right.” “Was that what a real laugh?” I instantly regretted saying it because that smile was gone as fast as it had appeared. “I don’t laugh.” “You just did.” “A momentary lapse in intelligence.” “Someone is foolish to be amused?” He shot me a look. “Why do you have to argue everything I say?” “Why are you so disgusted by me?” “I’m not.” He looked away. “That glare you keep giving me would say otherwise.” “If you want to know why I glare at you, just ask. Don’t speculate.” “Why not?” “I abhor speculation.” “Is there anything you don’t abhor?” I retorted. He turned me so quickly that my stomach leapt and my dress spun out around my legs. The motion was so surprising that a giggle escaped me. I cut it off as soon as I saw his attention flick to my lips. “I suppose I’m a fool now?” “I didn’t say that.” He drawled. Though there was no telling what was going on in his mind. “You don’t have to be so unpleasant all the time.” “No?” He said sourly. “How should I be?” “You are permitted to have fun once in a while, are you not?” “He told you that being the pack alpha was taken from me. Would you have fun were it you?” He shocked me by asking the question so bluntly. “You truly have no shame for eavesdropping, do you?” “You have no shame about discussing me. Why should I have any about hearing it?” “Oh!” I gasped. “You truly are dreadful, aren’t you?” “It’s a matter of opinion.” He dismissed. “Well, from the way I understand it, it’s everyone’s opinion.” “If you’re to believe everything my brother says.” “You’re saying I should not?” He shrugged. An odd gesture from a man that seemed otherwise, so decisively. “Believe what you want.” “Then tell me, alpha’s son, who doesn’t find you irritating?” “Me.” “I don’t believe that counts.” “You can’t present something as a unanimous decision,” His eyes dropped back to me. “if someone doesn’t agree.” “I believe I can.” He snorted. “Then you’re as stubborn as that buck that refuses to leave the woods near the camp.” “You’re bold with the flattery, aren’t you?” I queried with an arched brow. Refusing to let him insult me. “Flattery?” He was aghast. Shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe I’d called it that. “Well that must be what it is unless you’re trying to insult me apurpose?” “What if I am? Would you leave?” “I’d stay longer to spite you.” He snorted. “Of course you would.” “So I’d put forward that you trying to be nice to me, might persuade me to leave sooner.” “Ah, but it wouldn’t make you nearly as uncomfortable.” “You like making me uncomfortable?” I was startled by his statement, enough to ask. “You can ask me that but now why I glare at you?” He arched a haughty raven brow. “Does it matter since you refuse to answer it anyway?” His eyes narrowed. “You think yourself very clever for a girl that was once blind and deaf.” I moved to jerk from him. Appalled that he would remind me of how low I used to be but he refused to relinquish my hands, holding me against him despite that he obviously felt my resistance. He watched me as if pleased that I would fight him.

Rocks Hurt They threw rocks at me. I remembered. The children in the camp had attacked me when they’d seen how malformed I was with my pale eyes and unsure demeanor. The other pups had reacted by throwing rocks. They had clustered together and the way they’d sent a barrage my way, I’d always guessed that it was one of the alpha’s sons that threw the first rock. Which means either Ajax or Jamie could be my enemy. One of them might be nice, but the other for sure, was cruel. I remembered the humiliation, sorrow, and eventually the pain that day had wrought. A swirl of anger built in me. Growing and expanding like a nurtured seed as I looked around me. I watched the males arguing heatedly until they stopped. It wasn’t hard to guess which of the alpha’s sons had likely been the one to throw rocks at me. The same one who is glaring daggers at me now . I suspected. I shook my head at the two of them and left. Retreating back to the sanctuary of my home. And my mother. She was pacing the hut when I walked in the door. She turned to watch me walking in and waited for me to close the door behind me before she said. “Tell me everything.” *** This was apparently the outside ball. The alpha had commanded me to attend but I still wished to be anywhere but here. It’s too much. My eyes scanned nervously side to side. It was too loud. And the torches burning around the perimeter of the camp were too bright. Their vivid shades hurt my eyes nearly as much as the sun had when I’d first left the hut after regaining my sight. I squinted and looked away. There were a group of men already celebrating. Some were beating on wooden barrels and another whistled happily while two others clapped them a beat. Other pack members were dancing. Laughing merrily as they skipped in circles. Females held their skirts up as they skipped forward then back. Pack members moved around me. Strolling in every direction as some went to get refreshments and others partook of the food burning on several spits. I found myself turning to keep everyone in view because I naturally wanted to protect my back. Years of my mother teaching me that any pack member may want to kill me had taught me that I should never let anyone be behind me. She taught me to hide from them, to stay from view, and always  to avoid the pack members. Standing surrounded by them now was terrifying. All of my instincts were screaming. The hair on my scalp lifted shifting every time the hackles on my inner wolf were raised. And it felt like all eyes were on me. I lifted my gaze from all those skipping feet as another female bumped past my back. Making me step forward to avoid contact with her.   When I did, I met the fierce blue gaze of the huge, dark monster across the camp from me. The creature that always watched me with that hateful expression. The alpha’s eldest son. Ajax. Even now he glared at me. His face written with disapproval. His arms were crossed over that massive, bare, chest. A black bit of corded rope wrapped his neck. A small silver insignia hung from it which depicted his family’s mark. The Gallions mark. That bit of silver caught the light, flashing against my eyes. Making me turn them so I only watched him in my peripheral. He wasn’t blinking and he looked as though he wanted to strangle me. His expression was pure wrath. I’ve done nothing to him. I understood that it was likely sheer hatred for the fact that I had been nothing but an outcast a few moons ago. Maybe he even resents that I’m here at all. I swallowed and tore my gaze away. Seeing the friendly smile of his brother, Jamie, a bit further to my right was a relief compared to that cold, calculated study. Jamie waved eagerly as he spotted me. I averted my eyes, ducking my head. I looked furtively to the sides of me and spotted the red haired male that liked to leer at me. He still was not looking above my neck. As if his only interest was my body. It made my skin crawl. And to the left, further away, was that dark-haired boy who slowly eased behind a hut as I looked at him. Vanishing into the shadows as if trying to escape my gaze in the same way I yearned to escape that of the alpha’s oldest son. My heart raced and I twisted my hands into my skirt trying to comfort myself. Don’t be overwhelmed. Still, telling myself that didn’t make it any less overwhelming. I summoned my mother’s words right before I’d left the hut with the alpha tonight. These are my pack now. They won’t hurt me. But I felt otherwise. Deep in the core of my body, I felt someone’s hatred. I tightened my fists until my fingernails bit into my palms. I ducked my head and tried to calm myself. Drawing a few long breaths and exhaling them slowly. I understood that the others could sense I was afraid and could view it as weakness. That didn’t mean I could just banish it. I chewed on my cheek and imagined myself somewhere else. Until I felt the telltale alarm of my body beginning to calm. Everything slowed down in me as I imagined myself standing down in the hollow. Waiting for that hand to land in mine. Just as it always did. It always worked when I put myself back there, in the hollow. I inhaled and caught the faint odor of moldy yellow leaves coating the ground. And the crisp scent of algae caught in the frothy edges of the nearby water. And further away I could perceive the acrid scent of that cave that they boy had once taken me to. Though another might’ve found those combined aromas repulsive, to me they brought my world to life. I found potent scents exhilarating. With my eyes closed and my focus on that former world, I suddenly caught the faint scent of the boy. A familiar smell that filled my flaring nostrils and stirred the wolf deep in my blood. I liked this smell even more than the familiar smells of dirt and leaves in the hollow. I kept my eyes closed and remembered that scent in the hollow, and the faint silhouette of the boy’s shadow moving upward. I registered that the smell of the leaves was so strong because he was throwing handfuls at me. They scattered in the air and fell around me like rain. I imagined his touch on my hand as he turned it palm up atop his.   I waited trustingly as he trailed a leaf over my hand. Letting the ridge caress along my skin. My fingers instinctively folded over to catch its damp layer between their tips and my palm. I giggled, enjoying the feeling.   I looked up at him and smiled. Only able to see the shadow of his head in the sunlight. I was unable to make out any distinctive features. No matter how I tried to focus. Not even when I tried to close one eye, then the other. Though I couldn’t see him, I sensed he was smiling. “Are you laughing at me?” I asked. Humor lingering in my voice because I knew I didn’t have to be afraid when I was with him. I heard the distant single syllable which let me know he was saying ‘no.’ He caught my shoulder and lowered to a crouch with me. Just in-front of me, he followed my forearms down to the leaves and pushed my hand into the depths of a pile he’d gathered for me to wiggle my fingers in. They were cool, a little damp, and squishy rather than dry and crinkly like they had been a few days ago. I looked up at him adoringly because I wanted him to know how much I loved it. As I moved my fingers under the leaves, I felt something odd wiggle back. Worms? I thought hopefully. Mother had taught me about them but I’d never managed to find one. He saw me pause and dug through the leaves to lift my hand. He lifted the worm so it dangled before me. I couldn’t make out anything but its shadow. But I could tell how it writhed side to side. An involuntary shudder escaped me and I leaned back from it. The boy was making that distinctive sound that told me he was laughing. He dropped the worm and helped me scoop up some leaves without catching further worms. We stood together as he helped me throw them in the air and stand beneath them as they poured back down. Raining over us. I remembered that happy exhilaration and found myself smiling as peace washed over me. My friend. My mate. I have to find him. *** I focused on his scent. It was both in the reverie and here in the camp. Which means he’s here somewhere. Though I didn’t know how to gauge the distance or how to follow it. Those were things that were instinctive for pups to adapt to, but I had never learned them. “Stop it!” The snapping bark of an angry man had me shifting my eyes open even as he captured my hand and lifted it to inspect it. “What is this!” I stared guiltily at the small half-moon cuts in my palm. “You’re bleeding, fool girl. You would do this here?” The dark haired man held my hand up between us as he turned his head to look around in disbelief. “In the middle of all these wolves!” Ajax had crossed the camp without me even knowing to catch my hand and tell me what a fool I was for digging my nails through my skin. “What’s wrong?” Jamie walked over. “She’s hurt herself.” Ajax stepped aside to thrust my hand towards his little brother. As if I was now Jamie’s problem. I shrank into myself. Embarrassed that I had done something that would be such a big deal. Jamie gave a dismissive shrug. “No major offense, Ajax.” “Yes it is! I can smell her across the camp.” Jamie caught my elbow, pulling me from his brother as he offered me a friendly smile. “Care to dance?” My brows shot up and I shook my head. “I don’t really...I...I don’t...” “Just get out there.” Ajax snarled. Giving me a light shove which pushed me into the dancing ring. I stumbled and nearly fell. Horrified that I was now within that ring. With the angry man behind me. Boreing holes into my back. Fortunately, Jamie was still holding onto me. Helping me stay on my feet. He shot his brother a quelling look. “Can you not be so sour? For once!” I sent a panicked glance toward the fringe of tables where I’d been huddled earlier. Yearning crept through me as I thought of getting back to that spot. The alpha ordered me to mingle with the pack members. I reminded myself. Not wanting his anger landing on my head. “It’s okay.” Jamie reassured me. Taking my hands slowly. “Ignore him.” “I…” “Just dance with me.” “I don’t know how!” I objected. “That’s what-” “You don’t have to know how.” Jamie said. Pointing downward. “Just follow my feet. Yours will learn.” I tried, but I found myself stumbling everywhere. Unable to keep up, I bumped into Jamie. Lacking all coordination that every other wolf possessed. I wasn’t born with it. I’m still learning. My wolf defended. This is going horribly.   I should just get home! I told myself for the tenth time since the alpha had made me leave the hut. My head was beginning to ache and it was like trying to think through a fog.

So Many Males “Intentions?” I echoed the alpha’s word. Wondering what in the Doglands he meant by that. “Yes. The males will have a proper chance to speak to each other about what females they desire before the moon. So they have a chance to come to terms on who will pursue which” “Moon!” I gasped. No. It can’t be the pink moon already? I thought. Trying to mentally calculate when the last one was. “The Mating Moon comes soon,” The alpha warned. “and every unmated female of age, should be bred when it is high.” Bred. I swallowed. Knowing that word’s meaning and hating hearing it used to describe me. Mother had been very clear in explaining to me why it would be important for me to understand what would be expected of me once I hit maturity. I am expected to breed. My mouth went dry, words escaped me, and a sort of quiet panic settled deep in my bones. I’m not ready.  I was already shaking my head. Though no one seemed to care as they led me toward the center of the camp. *** The stage loomed in the center like an altar for sacrificial offerings. And I’m about to be the sacrifice. I thought. Feeling apprehension crawling through me until my breaths were shallow and my heart hammered so hard within my chest that I felt sure it might burst out at any moment. I looked beyond the brothers flanking me and tried to see toward the ravine. Beginning to wonder if I might make it if I ran. Maybe he would meet me there? Some old hope still lingered in me despite how long it had been since I saw my friend. Fires burned around the stage to keep people warm, and nearby was the camp well. A brief thought of diving in it to hide to struck me. A thought which was quickly chased by how futile that effort would be. A waste of time. They’d merely fish me out to face whatever consequences the alpha deemed appropriate. We were near the front of the stage when suddenly the bigger male near me snapped his head in my direction. He looked over my head as if I were not worth his time as he caught me about my waist and absentmindedly set me atop the raised platform. Leaving me sitting there so my legs dangled off the edge. As if I were no more than a bag of wheat he was setting in storage. I seem to be of about equal concern to him. I noted. The alpha’s other son rounded to the front of the steps to go up those on the heels of the alpha. He then walked over to offer me a hand up. I used it as leverage to get to my feet. His hand was larger than mine and comfortably warm. I peered up at him as I rolled to my knees and stood. He was a handsome blonde male. With much kinder features than the larger one. I couldn’t help feeling the calluses on his hands and wondering if he was the boy that’d once led me through the woods by holding my hand. My immediate thought was ‘no.’ It was too much larger and not as rough as his had been. His hands had felt as if he worked everyday without rest. That was a singular detail that stuck out in my mind. Also, this male’s grip was different. Lighter and more coaxing. Rather than taking mine and running. Perhaps it’s only because we’ve gotten older. I reminded myself not to lose hope. I was looking at each male in the pack, wondering if any of them could be the boy that had taken care of me. Could any of them be the one that was kind to me when no one else was. The Alpha’s son led me across the stage and turned me around to face the crowd. Madrik and his other son joined me there. Madrik stepped forward. “I present to my pack, the only surviving daughter of the original wolf, Fury!” There were resounding gasps. “A pureblood female...” They were nearly breathless with wonder. They whispered to each other conspiratorially. Speaking of me as if I were a rare mare rather than one of them.  My blood isn’t entirely pure. I wanted to object. Mother was still mixed blood. A sorceress amongst wolves. I looked to the alpha and saw he’d made his point. He has everyone’s attention.   It was a revelation to me that what he was saying wasn’t a matter of fine details. It’s the point of how much pureblood I can offer a male of similar lineage. I swallowed. That realization landed like a boulder in my stomach. Any male wanting stronger blood in their descendants will want to be the one to mate with me. Suddenly I feared that I wouldn’t just be mated but possibly be commanded to have multiple mates. Or be given to someone as a reward. Or an incentive. My pulse beat in my ears and my vision blurred. For a moment I was so lightheaded that I thought I might pass out. “Devastation.” Madrik announced my name to them. “A fine specimen, indeed.” The alpha thoughtfully lifted a twining blonde strand of hair which crossed over my shoulder and ran along my side to drape near my hip. “A girl that has been healed by her own power. She can now see and hear. No longer the broken creature that I may be in a place of protection now. But that could change any moment. I needed to watch what I said. Even if it was the Spark’s power which healed me… *** There was very little sound in response to his words. I stared at all their faces in horror. Hating the greedy way they looked me up and down. I don’t know what I expected, but they looked at me like I was some commodity they could acquire. Several males gave grunting sounds of approval. Others shifted closer to the platform in order to more thoroughly inspect me. I glowered at all of them. Feeling humiliated and annoyed by the way I was forced to be on display for them. Little did I know that the alpha was saving the best for last. “Come the Mating Moon, she will run free, ripe for the taking.” I growled slightly, stepping further back. Retreating from their view in my malcontent at hearing him say that about me.   The Alpha’s head whipped to look at me as if my objecting noise were evidence of her words. “See her,” He gestured to me. “She’s spirited and beautiful. A fine creature for any male to mount.” I wanted to argue but was raised knowing better than to argue with the Alpha while the pack looked on. That’s a good way to get killed. I don’t need him making an example of me. The slenderer one of the brothers was fumbling for my wrist. When he caught it, he used it to lead me down the steps off the stage. By my wrist. I stared at his hold on me and was sure that the boy I knew would have never held me by anything other than my hand. I gave this man a quick look. “What happens now?” “Now you join us for the festivities in your honor.” He grinned. “A few banquets, the outside ball, and the gathering of course.” I didn’t know what any of those things were. I was feeling a lot overwhelmed, and more than a little queasy at the prospect of being so socialized, after spending so long locked away. “I’m not sure I can do this.”  “You can.” He grinned again. “We’ll get you through this, won’t we Ajax?” He peered around me to spot the larger man who had materialized at my other side as silently as he vanished earlier. So, he is Jamie then. I looked at the man gripping my arm. That first day, when the Spark’s burn had still seared into my soul, it had been this boy who’d gone and gotten my mother. Without him I’d have died. I gave his profile another study. Remembering the shadowy outline of my boy as I looked at him. Hoping that I might be able to knit them together. But after careful examination of all the details I could recall, I still couldn’t tell. I’m not sure I ever will. I thought, disheartened. I sighed. Deciding then and there, that it would be my mission over the next few days to watch everyone’s faintest movement for any hint of the boy I knew. The male I want for my mate. I mentally noted. I will spot him. He’ll give himself away in one way or another. I told myself. We knew each other so well. Still, I couldn’t help wondering why he wasn’t already rushing to the edge of the stage to declare that he was the one who’d been kind to me before and that I was already his. He has to know it’s me. Has to. My heart screamed for him. Perhaps I was wrong for thinking so, but I felt like he should be here, already staking his claim on me before all of them. How can he not feel the same about me? I pondered. I was so sure that we were forever connected. My eyes scanned the crowd. Landing on the most intent faces watching me. Could he be one of them? There was the doe-eyed man was still lurking further back from the rest. Leaning against one of the pillars over the well as he watched all that’d happened on the stage. To my left was the other man, the one that had bumped against me as we walked here. The one I already don’t like. I assessed his black hair and blue eyes. He was massive, this eldest of the Alpha’s sons. He was the one that had set me up on the stage so easily. There was some kind of unearthen beauty in his movements. He exuded an air of confidence and power that drew one’s eye. But there wasn’t a shred of kindness on his face which meant he couldn’t be the one I searched for. Nearby I caught yet another male watching me greedily. His gaze barely reached my face, as it roved over my body like wild hands trying to reach every bit of exposed skin. His red hair ruffled and his green eyes were a bit too familiar for my comfort. I looked hastily away from him, feeling my cheeks heat. “What are you blushing for, girl?” The rumbling voice calling me out on my shame, belonged to the mammoth sized male who had just stepped off the stage. That one that I was already finding abhorrent. Ajax. His black hair was pulled back into a tight tether at his nape. He was deeply tanned, and his expression was severe. As if he chastised me for flushing. As if he’d chastises me for everything. I inwardly grumbled. “This is all a bit much for me.” I murmured under my breath. Refusing to meet those cruel eyes. “It’ll be okay.” Jamie lifted my wrist to pat the back of my hand in what seemed a rather awkward gesture of reassurance. “Perhaps you should’ve come out of that shack a bit sooner than, aye?” Ajax tilted sideways to murmur to me. But it didn’t sound like a teasing comment. It sounded like judgement. Because I’ve done nothing to support the pack? I wondered at his harshness. Shooting him a quick glance. He was staring straight ahead, as though I mattered little more than a fly buzzing at his shoulder. “Don’t mind him.” Jamie said. “He doesn’t like anyone.” “Which is fine.” Ajax countered, glowering at him. “Since he compensates by catering to everyone.” “Ohh.” Jamie gave his big brother a mock pout. “Your words cut like sharpened rocks.” “I’ll cut you with a sharpened dagger if you keep being snide.” Suddenly the brothers were arguing around me as if I weren’t there at all. And somehow, I felt even more out of place then I had when I was almost completely deaf and blind.

Paraded Since the alpha had directed me to go back to the shack, the wolves grudgingly parted to allow a path for me to walk through but there was a lingering tenseness in the way they sat at the ready. Prepared to run me down if I jerked a little too fast. My mother stood in the doorway of the shack. Waiting. And once I was within reach, she caught my scruff and pulled me backward until I was in the shack. She quickly closed the door. Separating them and me as if she intended to lock out evil, itself. She rounded to slam her back to the door to demand. “What have you done, girl?” I relaxed my body. Defeatedly letting me joints adjust and my shoulders pull apart as my figure changed back to that of a woman. She was staring at me impatiently. “I…” I hung my head because I couldn’t think of any good excuse for my impulsiveness. I had literally just felt as if I could no longer stand what I was feeling. I didn’t know how to describe it anymore than to say I was a ‘fool.’ “Everyone had nearly forgotten about you, and now you choose to emerge?” I stared that the floor. “We don’t have time for excuses now, anyway.” She dismissed. Shaking her head sorrowfully. “Could we leave the pack?” I could come back and find boy when it’s safe. I thought. “That’s not an option now. They’re all out there, and they know about you. No one would let us leave, even if that was the best idea at the moment.” Frustration embittered her voice. “I’m sorry…” I said weakly. What have I done? “What have you done to yourself?” Mother murmured, as if picking up on my thoughts. She stirred through a trunk in the corner until finding a dress that might fit me. She looked from the dress, to me, and back. “It’s long enough but I’m afraid it will be rather tight in the chest.” I looked down and noted that I had substantially more bust than she did. “Fortunately, you’re only a little taller though. We should be able to make it work.” It was a warm peach shade, a color unlike any dresses we had worn before. It had laces crisscrossing down the front and a slight ruffle at the bottom that made it sway when it moved. I gaped at it, touching the hem in awe. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. “Where did it come from?” “Your father traded it from the humans. They make beautiful things.” “Beautiful…” I echoed in wonder. She gathered a washbasin from over the fireplace and a rag. Helping me wash myself from my run. “Lift your arms, darling.” She directed. I complied. She helped pull the dress over my head. Settling it over my hips and around my legs. I dropped my arms and she stepped forward to begin tugging the laces along the front. Closing the dress over my body. But when she reached my chest there was little she could do. The white lining beneath the pieces of peach cloth was stretched over their fullness and the laces refused to pull them together no matter how either one of us adjusted my breasts. “There’s nothing for it!” She finally threw her hands up in frustration. “Oh, no...” I bemoaned as I stared down at the rise of my breasts and the gaping cleavage pushed above the fabric. “What do I do?” My hands fluttered around me in a helpless gesture as I gave her a pleading look. “Nothing more we can do.” She gave me an empathetic look. “I thought we had more time.” “I know!” “You did this to yourself, you know?” “I don’t know what to say.” “Your wolf drives you, my girl.” She sighed. Her anger melting away. “Sometimes there’s nothing you can say. It just is what it is. She is who she is.” “She?” “Your wolf. She’s not exactly you, but she is a part  of you.”   Mama caught my curling blonde hair and pulled it from the neckline of the dress. Setting it to hang down the back of the dress where it could brush along the back of my thighs. She drew a steadying breath as she inspected me from head to toe. Something akin to pride filled her blue eyes. But those suddenly filled with tears. An apology was written through them. “I’ve done all I could to keep you safe, sweetheart.” “I know. This is my fault.” “The time was always going to come, my daughter.” I nodded, chewing my lip. “Just remember the things I’ve taught you. And above all, use your head. These wolves are not like you. They’re crueler, harder. They’ve had to be, to fit into the strongest pack in all of Ferus. And please, baby girl, remember their kindness. Even through the ugliness and fear, they have protected us from rogues, from the plague, and kept us fed.” “I will, Mama.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “What do I do? What will they do to me?” “You have to pick a mate. Choose one before the first Mating Moon so you have one to protect you against the others by the time the pink moon rises.” “But-” “Baby, you don’t have a choice.” She cut me off. She whispered. “Listen to me pick one male as a mate. Or many will take you.” “Take me?” “Deva! Listen to me.” She caught my arm. “Be sure to pick one…Before it’s too late.” “I know what one I want.” “Who?” She asked incredulously. Stunned to hear me say it. “How could you know that? You’ve been outside two minutes.” She gestured to the door in confusion. “There was a boy...When I couldn’t see.” “A boy?” She rushed over to catch my arms. “What boy? You never told me of a boy!” “He played in the hollow with me. He was my eyes, and my feet, and my nose.” “Who is he?” “I don’t know.” I stared at her a long while. My fists working in the white linen dress. “I never saw him, Mama.” “What did he sound like?” She asked urgently. Willing to do anything to me identify him now. “I don’t know.” I gestured to my ears. Reminding her that they’d barely worked then. She looked forlorn. “His voice…It was notes that I couldn’t-couldn’t…” I floundered trying to explain. “You couldn’t understand his pitch.” She straightened in shock. Her voice deadened. “You have a fortnight, Deva. If that, to pick a mate.” “I only want him.” “Deva...” She said slowly. “You’re going to have to catch onto to pack life very quickly.” I didn’t know what she meant then, but we had ran out of time for explanations. “Deva!” The Alpha hollered. “Emerge.” *** I swallowed and put my hand on the door handle. Petrified of what I was going to face out there. I opened the door and immediately had to shield my eyes with an arm. Finding it blinding after the comforting darkness inside. It was weird stepping out that door and knowing that I now belonged to the pack. Years ago that would’ve sounded like a dream. Now I was afraid. The moment my eyes adjusted I was intimidated by the number of eyes roving over me. Caressing me from head to toe like hands. The alpha stepped forward to offer me his arm. I stared at it a long moment before hesitantly setting my hand on it. It was weird to touch another being aside from my mother or the boy. Madrik had been our alpha for too long to be the child I knew. I blew a long breath, trying to will the tension from my shoulders. I met his eyes and he lowered his head in greeting. He led me from the doorway. I chewed my cheek. “Don’t let them see your nervous.” He whispered under his breath. “Chin up. Head high.” I swallowed. Trying to ignore all the eyes as they separated to let me through. I watched the alpha next to him, trying to match his air so no one would know how awkward I felt. Though he was a far more imposing creature. Despite that he wasn’t overly tall, his broad shoulders and barrel chest gave him a mean build that was well-suited to the muscle he carried. I glanced at the others, noticing how they averted their eyes as we drew near them. Ensuring they didn’t challenge the alpha. Though several gazes lingered on my cleavage. My face heated and I wished that I’d tried harder to get the strings on the bodice tighter. I could feel the breeze brushing along that hollow and chilling my upper chest. I felt naked, but unlike the comforting nudity of having just changed from my wolf. Oddly, I felt more exposed now. I was accustomed to heavier hide dresses. The sort I’d worn all through my childhood. The wolves at our backs crowded in tighter. Their chests bumping against my arms and back as they moved to sniff me. Accepting me into their fold by sight and scent. Some blatantly stuck their noses into my hair to take in the smell of my scalp, closest to my skin. I jerked my head away and spun to glare at them. But there were so many that I hardly saw their faces. As I scanned them all with a warning look. “Look ahead.” Madrik directed as if sensing my discomfort. “Let them accept you. We’re almost to camp center.” I looked ahead and saw we were only a few steps away now. Far from the shack already. I stared across the space with the stage in the center. I met the dark eyed gaze of a man peering around a building to see me. He walked parallel to us and peeked around another one. Watching me. He lingered in the shadows as he kept me in view. I watched him uneasily. Disliking how he crept around but I was distracted when a door near me was thrown open. Only then did I notice that huts along the way were opening and people who hadn’t met us in the meadow were emerging to join our procession. Mostly females and pups. I noticed. Despite the alpha’s suggestion, I found myself glancing over my shoulder to see if they were I still there. The only ones directly behind me now were the two alpha successors. The larger one walked just to my right, flanking me. He stared ahead as if he’d rather look at any wolf than me. He wore a severe expression with a hardened jaw and sort of perpetual anger burning in his eyes. Like it lives there . I thought. When his eyes flicked to me, I noticed from this close a distance, that they weren’t as dark as they had appeared from a distance. They were actually a deep blue but with a large pupil and beneath a sweep of dark lashes and slashing black brows, they seemed much darker. I didn’t know if this was Ajax or Jamie because I had never actually seen  them before. Over my left shoulder I saw the other one. He was keeping a careful eye on me. He walked so closely behind me that I felt the brush of his long legs against the back of mine and his hip bumping into mine. One further behind slid up close enough to give my hair another whiff. Bumping his groin into me in the process. I sent that one a withering look and an inhuman growl crept from my throat. Warning him to stay back. That sound had the alpha’s skinnier son lifting his brows in interest. The taller one’s blue eyes skid sideways to give me a disapproving glance. Wolves were spanning out to encircle that stage expectantly. There’s so many of them. I was surprised. I had guessed that the pack was much smaller. I had spent so much time avoiding the other pups when I was young that I had no clue how many there really were.  “Where are we going?” I asked the alpha as he led me. “To present you to the camp.” “Why?” “So, they will have a chance to make their intentions toward you, known.”

The One I Want I lost count of how many moons had passed but I found myself growing taller and my body filling out. My chest grew fuller. I was thickening and rounding in many places. I still knew little about how I looked from the outside.  Save for what I could glimpse through my cups of water. I’ve never even seen my reflection. I thought mournfully. The boy would tell me. I knew. And I’d be able to hear him! Or, if I could get to the ravine, I could look in that creek and see myself. Or in that sacred pool in the cave…If he would take me there again. I had never seen myself before. I could tell that I’d changed, but I didn’t even know what the original me had looked like. Now that I could see I felt as if layers of mystery had peeled off the world like a blanket hiding a surprise beneath. But that surprise was something I had yet to see. I knew that if I could talk to the boy, even a short conversation, I could make him understand everything I was feeling. And I knew he would listen.   I chewed my cheek. Even after all this time, he’s still all I think about. I knew that if I was no longer a girl, chances were that the moon had changed him too. He’ll be a grown man now. I wondered how different he was now. It seemed sad that I never even got to see the boy. I sat in the wooden chair before the window and stared longingly out at the boulder. Hoping to catch the merest hint of him. But day after day, there was nothing. It’s like he’s disappeared completely. I thought sorrowfully. Worrying about him. Every moon that rose I missed his hand around mine more. I was maturing and I already knew that the male I wanted was the one that had led me through the woods when I was blind. The one that ran with me, even when I was broken… Mate… I’d begun toying with that word but hardly knew what it meant. Still, I knew that I wanted him as mine. Mother spoke often of the need for me to take a mate in order to protect me from the other males. It was often our dinner conversation as she collected whatever the alpha or hunters had left at our door and prepared it for our meal.   The first pink moon since I had changed came. Rising fat and round and high in the sky. Mother had stared out watching it rise and now rushed to open the hatch. “You’re going to have to hide, my dear.” It smelled absolutely rancid. The scent stung my nostrils. “It smells terrible, mama!” “That’s what will hide your smell, my daughter.” “My smell?” I shook my head in confusion. “The scent of female wolves is much stronger when the moon is pink. And the males are more receptive to it. They’re…Searching for it.” “Do I smell, mama?” She shook her head. “I can’t smell you like that, honey. But the healthier a female wolf is the more potent her scent.” She glanced over me. “I fear your pheromones will be raging enough to call them all here.” “Because of the color of the moon?” “It’s called the Mating Moon.” She said sympathetically. “I know you don’t understand yet. But soon, you will. We just need a little more time.” “Yes, mama.” I dutifully crawled under the horrible furs. Trying to ignore the stinking chunks lingering to the skins. Pieces that I now suspected my mother had deliberately left there.   She closed the hatch above me, blocking out all light and leaving me in that acrid darkness. She moved the table over it and I heard the snap of the shutters closing. Then she returned and slid into a chair above me, facing it toward the door. She willingly offered herself as a guard someone would have to get through to get to me. Then I heard the first scruffing noises outside. I could feel their pawprints flattening the grass surrounding our home as they padded around beneath the window. Their noses in the air, on the ground. I could sense how close they were. Mama was right. They were searching…For me. Whether they knew it or not, that’s what they were here for. At one point I heard thudding above me and chaotic sounds. The table scraping and chairs toppling. But I was quiet. There were horrible sounds, cloth tearing and grunting that made me think she was fighting someone. I stayed in there half-terrified someone had killed her, though she never screamed. It was dawn when she threw back the hatch and offered me a hand up. Her face had a long scratch down the side and she looked weary. Once I was out, she told me to stay in the furthest corner while she went to work fixing the door which was broken in at the bottom. I noticed she moved gingerly as if she was hurting. “Mama?” I asked quietly as soon as the door was fixed. “Are you hurt?” “I’m fine, honey. I just need to sit for a while.” I helped her to a chair. Lowering her cautiously. I turned to go bring her some food but she caught my forearm. “Promise me something.” “What?” “Do not let the pack decides who you are mated to. You choose on your own.” “Okay…” I said bemusedly. Unsure where this was coming from. “You’ve spent far too long in the dark to let any monster steal your light.” “I won’t, Mama.” I said slowly. Confused about her urgency. I want the one that held my hand while I was in the darkness. The shadow that wanted to be near me, before I could see… *** It had been well over twelve moons, mother said. Perhaps that was why I felt like I was beginning to go mad. Today I was nearly sick with the urge to launch myself out the front door. I sat on my bed, fingers digging into the side of the bunk and rocking myself. I stared at the window, imagining myself launching through it and crossing the meadow to the hollow. Perhaps to find my mate already there, waiting for me. I told myself it was okay to hope. I dreamed of him endlessly. That feeling of connection I had to him, had never tempered. Not even all this time. I heard the rip of mother separating skin from muscle as she prepared an animal for dinner at the table. “Deva…Please calm down.” She didn’t look up from what she was doing. “That bed is creaking every time you move. It’s distracting.” “Ugh!” I cried. Standing up and pacing. “I hate it in here.” “I know. But it is dangerous out there.” She was talking in her usual calm tone. Repeating the same things she had said over and over a million times. “Just have a seat and relax.” “You don’t understand.” I tugged at my hair. “I can’t. I can’t do this anymore.” “Deva…” She looked up. Giving me a worried look as she began to sense the gravity of the situation. I shook my head. “I can’t.” I meant it. Every fiber in my body was shuddering and my body was ready to explode. Unable to bear another second of it, I succumbed to the impulse to go. I crossed the space in two skipping strides and launched between the open shutters. My body twisting with perfect precision. Changing in the air until I was a creamy white, the same shade my hair was when it hung over my shoulders. I landed on sturdy paws and was crossing the ground toward that square boulder with the power of muscles that I didn’t used to know. I was so eager to get to that boulder that I could hardly breathe. I felt sure that somehow the boy would know to meet me. He’ll feel me there. Hope raged in my blood. Rising with every pulsebeat. Mother tossed open the door and cried out. “Devastation!” I was intent on getting out of the shack before I lost my mind from isolation. That sole drive made it so I hardly noticed as a massive male wolf thundered across the meadow into my path. He hunkered. His shoulders vibrating as his head lowered threateningly. He bared his teeth in a vicious snarl. He doesn’t know me. I met the wolf with wary eyes. I wheeled to a stop, wondering what was happening. He thinks I’m an intruder in the camp. I slowly eased backward. Sensing the grave mistake I’d just made. The yellow eyes of this wolf were vicious. Hateful. I hunkered low to show him I was no threat. I glanced over my shoulder toward the shack where my mother was frozen at the window. Her eyes glued to the scene. Don’t run… I warned myself. Despite that my wolf’s instinct told me to get out of there. I sensed that running would only incense him further. It will end violently. My stomach dropped. Mother had taught me much about defending myself in human form but nothing about doing it while in the shape of a wolf. But beyond all that, she had taught me to use sense. That was what I was clawing for now. Even though my heart was thudding loudly in my ears as I slid one paw, then the other, backward. The male was raven’s black and far bigger than me. He knew more about how to behave as a wolf. He exuded aggression with every deep snarl emerging from his throat. His massive paws moved after my retreat. Lifting before dropping and sinking deep into the damp dirt beneath us. I’ve barely learned to take wolf shape. I huffed a long breath, afraid that I was about to discover that everything mother had told me was true. I veered backward, angling toward the door of the shack that was creaking open. Mama waiting for me. I recognized. There was another snarl behind me which had me whirling sideways in order to keep them both in view. This was a large brown male. Another one guarding the territory. I heard growling from further away and soon realized that there were others, moving in a wide circle around me. Attacking me as a pack. My eyes slid over them. I fearfully whipped my head, trying to see them all at the same time. They were closing in. They had blocked me off from the shack and were now assuring that there was no other direction I could turn. I’m cornered. *** An imposing man stepped into my path. His head was high and there was a regal aura to him. His posture exuded power. His shoulders and stand were square and there was an aura around him that commanded me to stop moving. Without a word aloud. I knew instantly who this had to be. Our alpha, Madrik.   I spun my head to see the two large males that had boxed me in but they were gone. However they soon flanked their alpha as nude men. Both appeared younger than the alpha but had similar bladed cheekbones and hard features. It was never safe to guess wolves’ ages because one they matured they virtually stopped ageing, unless severely injured. They’re the alpha’s successors. His sons. Ajax and Jamie. Looking at the two brothers I faintly noticed that they were complete opposites beyond their faces. One was tall and built villainously huge with a wrathful expression. The other was tall and slender. Sinewed from hours of training with narrowed eyes. One was dark haired one was sandy blonde.  Both were staring at me with interest written in their faces. “Hello Devastation.” Madrik greeted. My eyes flicked nervously to me. “Why don’t you go inside and put some clothes on. Then come back. It’s high time you meet your pack.” Oh, no. I thought in horror. What have I done? I swallowed, backing toward the door of my shack. Running wasn’t an option. They had closed in until they sat shoulder to shoulder around us. I don’t have a choice. I understood.

Unbound I felt the floor under my paws and glanced toward the window of the shack. Seeing the sunshine dancing over the tall grass in hues of orange and pink. Beckoning me to experience them all. I couldn’t resist. So excited that I could hardly contain myself, I charged the shack’s front door and tipped onto my back legs so I could lean up enough to turn the lever with my front paws. Once it creaked open a crack I dropped and stuck my snout in it. Urging it further. Once out, I was rushing out into the field and feeling the wind sifting through my fur. A million scents wafted in to tease me all at once. Wandering into my nostrils and exploding into my mind. Everything was shiny and new. Every plant I passed, I learned the smell of. I was shocked by how everything had its own, distinct, aroma. It was almost as if I could see the whole world through only my nostrils. I could see so far out in every direction that I had no idea what the limits of my vision were. It seemed limitless. Unbound…I’m unbound by all the things that held me back before. That single touch had changed my fate, my life, forever. I owed everything to the Spark. She gave me my life. I paused in that meadow. Turning to look around me in wonder. Scanning vertically, horizontally. Pressing my new eyes to see every detail. I could see the smallest rabbit hunkered in the grass hundreds of yards away. A squirrel in a tree across the meadow shrank. It gave a small whining sound at the scent of me. I can see, and hear, everything! I leapt in the direction of the hill. Ducking my head to charge gleefully that way. I felt the eagerness of a puppy as I scurried beyond the square boulder and toward the edge of the steep bank. I whistled for the boy, calling to my only friend. I want to show him! I couldn’t wait for him to see me. I leapt into the air, intent on running headlong into the ravine. While I was in the air, my mother’s arms wrapped my torso and she whirled with me. Using incredible strength to run back across the meadow, packing me. She crossed quickly into the shack and slammed the door behind her. I whined in objection. Giving her a stunned look, as she set me back down on my paws. She crouched before me and put a finger to her lips. Shaking her head. Only then did I hear what she already had. The treading of paws in every direction. They were crossing the camp toward the shack, roaming closer from different angles of the meadow, crossing around the huts and slipping into the edge of the forest. They were pouring from every direction around camp. Looking for something. I saw the alarm on her face and realized where she’d gotten her astonishing strength. She’s terrified. That told me that she had reason to believe they were looking for me. “You have to change back.” She said in a quivering voice. I blinked at her. I don’t want to. “Now, Deva” She commanded in a hushed tone. “Change back!” I couldn’t imagine anything worse than that. I threw my head in argument. I can’t go back to that! The thought of being almost completely blind and deaf again was sickening. I only just found freedom! I’m not even sure I can change back. I couldn’t tell her those things in the form I was in. She wouldn’t have understood. “Now, Deva! There’s too many for us!” I lifted my snout and flared my nostrils as I caught their scents. There were numerous animals closing in on the hut. As much as I hated the idea, I knew she was right. They’re going to hurt us! I closed my eyes and told my wolf that I needed her to crawl back into my body and set the girl free or we would get hurt. She whined in my mind. Objecting to being put away so quickly. I reassured her it wouldn’t be forever. I want you to come back out, soon just as much as you want to. I promised her. I relaxed my body and my head snapped abruptly back. Folding at an awkward angle until it fell atop my spin. My human face pressed through the fur of my neck and emerged as chunks of fur toppled to the ground. Next was my shoulder, and finally an arm. I stretched it out, pulling the furred skin off my opposite shoulder until both were free. Then I gripped the opening of the skin and pushed it toward my hips. Crawling out of it as it receded. Drying and beginning to fall apart. Teeth and fur fell to the floor, scattering around my hands. “Faster, Deva!” Mother urged. She ran to slide the table aside. Catching a loose board and lifting. Which revealed it was a secret handle to a concealed hatch. Finally, I was free of my wolf form. A nude woman on all fours. MY body and hair were slicked with blood. I obediently crawled over and peered down. It was lined inside with stones and deteriorating animal hides. The smell was acrid enough that I had to turn my face away. “Plug your nose.” She ordered. “You have to get down there.” I stared down in appall. “Deva!” She cried. “Hurry.” I crawled over the edge and tumbled into it headfirst. Hitting the bottom knocked the air out of me. “Get under the hides!” She whispered. I slowly dragged the pile of hides over me. I felt groggy and my movements were heavy, as if every limb was weighed down. She threw the hatch back over me. And dragged the table over it. There was banging at the door. It creaked when mother opened it. A masculine voice rose. It was low tones, but this time it wasn’t dulled. I made out every word.   “You can only hide her so long, Aleasha.” “She is my baby.” “She is also a she-wolf that has just attained mating age.” “They’ll kill her, Alpha!” “You can’t hide her from us forever.” The Alpha warned. “Let me try?” She pleaded. Madrik Gallions, the alpha, was the father of Jamie and Ajax. “The males will not be happy when they discover I’ve allowed you to hide a female from them.” Despite my limitations, I had carefully kept track of the members of the pack. Though I couldn’t hear or see them, mother had told me about each one so I could learn who they were. I knew them. In a way. They just don’t know me. I held my breath as I waited for his verdict. I heard him sigh. I was startled to realize that even in this form, I could now see and smell. Even my human body has changed. After a night of the worst pain I’d ever known, I was healed. I was distracted by that knowledge. I can run in the fields and feel the grass under my feet. I could smell each wildflower in bloom! I could run into that ravine and listen to the sounds of that drizzling creek that the boy had stuck my hand into.   Those hopes were abolished when I heard mother promising Madrik. “I’ll keep her indoors…” No! I inwardly wailed. To know that I now had those abilities and not be permitted to use them seemed unbearably cruel. There was a long silence between mother and Alpha. I almost hoped he’d reject her offer. Anything had to be better than being locked away forever! “You know who she is!” Mother urged. “The only daughter of Fury.” “You’re a smart man. You know the value of having the only surviving daughter of the original. She can provide a line of pureblood wolves…If you allow her time.” “I intend her for one of my sons.” He warned. “I know. But she has her own mind. I can’t promise you that.” “We will let her choose. They are strong wolves, she’d be a fool not to choose one of them as a mate.” “I understand.” “I give you one full rotation of the seasons.” She huffed a relieved breath. “Twelve moons…” “As long as she stays in here. If she’s discovered I can’t protect her any longer.” “Yes, Alpha.” The deal was set and soon the door closed. She opened the hatch and offered me a hand up. “I’ll get you some water from the creek to clean up.” “Are you really going to keep me in the shack.” “We have no choice, darling. We have to keep you safe.” *** Day after day, I stared out the window and over the field, at the square boulder on the hill. Where the boy might be waiting for me… And I could finally see him! It broke my heart to know that gift was taken from us. Everyday became a missed opportunity to speak to my dearest friend, face-to-face. And hear him, smell him, touch him, know him. I wanted to know everything about him. The color of his hair and eyes, the sound of his voice when it isn’t muffled. I understood mother was trying to protect me but I couldn’t resist arguing with her at every turn. On every sunny day. Our disagreements became increasingly often. Sometimes going for hours. It had only been a fortnight, but I already felt like I was going crazy. I went to the window as soon as I woke. I could see that there had been a light rain during the night. It lent a whole new array of scents to the air. The sun had already warmed much of the meadow but the trees held a gray aura that I desperately wanted to go investigate. “Deva…” Mother pleaded. “Please don’t.” “I didn’t even say anything!” “I know that look.” “Just let me go!” I shouted at her as I turned from the window. “No, Deva. You know why!” “I just want to go out there. There’s so much I’ve missed for far too long.” “You can’t!” She cried. “I promised our alpha.” “You’re keeping me prisoner. How can you not let me go and experience all that I missed. It’s heartless.” She has to change her mind. I’m going to go crazy in here! I thought. “Deva! Please! Stop fighting me on this.” She shouted it so loudly that I quieted. Having never seen her so vehemently before, I didn’t know what to say. “No more. That’s final.” She cut the air with the side of her hand in a firm gesture. Effectively silencing my pleading. I turned from the window and went to my bed, pulling the blanket up to my shoulder as I stared at the wall. She swept her arms before her in an indication that her answer was final. Effectively silencing all of my pleading. *** Mother and I were so busy arguing that neither of us noticed the shadow that had stood up next to the square boulder along the ridge. It was the silhouette of a boy, his arms crossed over his chest as he stood in line with my window. With the wind whistling through the trees and stirring the grass over the meadow, it was impossible for him to hear the argument. But he caught the angry gestures. The direct way I looked at my mother. The rapid-fire responses I gave her before she even finished her sentences. He saw it all. I never knew he saw me there. He stood still and watched how I moved and spoke, and knew with deep certainty that I was healed. He could never have known how I argued with her almost daily in the hope of going to see him. All he understood was that I was healed, and now no longer came to our spot. He believed he was cast aside. Thinking himself only my friend when I had a need for him. As he stood there, that boy’s view of everything began to change… He lurched off that boulder and walked around it to drop down the steep bank. Walking slowly along the creek. Venting his frustration through the rocks he threw and the trees. He was nearly shaking with rage. Disappointment coursing through him. And in that second something he would always hide, had hardened.