02 Daughter of Fury

Secret Waters

The wind in this perfect little canyon rustled through the trees around me and this boy. Shaking their branches and showering crackling leaves over me. I saw the shades of gray and rust foliage, only when they were close enough to land directly on my face. Tickling my cheeks with their rough edges.

I giggled.

We didn’t stop moving. Even with those coming down around me, he kept us surging forward.

My feet found the next step and the next. Soon, I caught the faint click of cracking twigs and knew he was leading me around those that were big enough to require stepping over. With his help I temporarily felt what it would be like to navigate the world, able to see. And hear…

I imagined that this is how the world would always seem, if I could perceive it the way he does.

But I wanted to enjoy the moment. I was happy with him. And I was sure running with him ahead of me was the closest I could get to flying. I’m always free of my restraints when I’m with him.

I didn’t have to be locked away in the shadows and kept from view of the other wolves. I didn’t have to worry about what would happen if they stumbled across me.

Boy wouldn’t let that happen.

He always took care of me. He always sensed anyone coming and showed me where we could hide together. Then he would let me know when it was safe to come out.

He always takes care of me…This boy. At least I think that’s what he is. I realized I didn’t know for sure. But the usual signs were there that told me he wasn’t female.

His breaths were noticeably deeper than mine, and his hand felt callused. Strong. And larger than mine.

Though not by much.

He was guiding me so fast down the hillside that I got to feel what it felt like to run. A hint of what it would be like to run through the forest as a wolf.

Even though I never will.

I would only ever run in this form. And only when he was my eyes and ears.

“There you are.” I greeted him as I always did.

***

The boy and I were both young. Having only seen a couple moons.

He always knew he could find me here when the sun was highest, if it was a day that mother let me out.

This ravine was always where we met.

And he always comes. I knew. As if he could somehow sense when I left the shack.

Except the one time. Pain rushed through me as I remembered that awful day.

I knew he was afraid of them seeing him with me because the only time he had ever not come to play with me here, was when there were other children from the pack already playing here.

No. I won’t think about that day. I promised myself. I pushed all thoughts of that one lonely day aside as I focused on this moment as we reached the bottom we hurried through the trees.

I threw my head back and laughed, watching the gold and brown leaves land on my face. I ran the path he set for us. I trusted him unquestioningly.

“How do you always know when I’m here?”

I heard a muffled sound that might have been him speaking but with the wind in the trees it was impossible for me to focus on a voice. I couldn’t understand what he said.

That was okay though. We didn’t need to talk to have fun.

I could just make out his hazy outline, slightly taller than me as he tossed leaves into the air. Throwing them over me.

I shook my face into them. Loving the way the dry bits brushed over my face like tiny fingertips. I knew some were getting stuck in my hair and I was sure to get in trouble, but I didn’t care.

Not right now. Nothing else matters right now. I lived in this moment with him.

When I was with him, I only cared about playing. Like he does every day.

Because I was a broken pup, none of the other children would play with me. Which meant I was always alone.

Except for when I’m here.

He grabbed my hand in his again and we ran further through the bottom of the ravine.

I heard a faint rumbling around me and knew what it was when he led me to my knees on the ground. I wasn’t surprised when he dunked my fingers into a freezing creek.

I yelped and retracted my hand, stunned by the cold. It’s freezing!

I shot him a betrayed look. Widening my foggy eyes and gaping at him in sheer horror.

I heard a ticking sound that I recognized as his particular laugh. I knew those notes. Four low ticks with some reverberations between. Then he’d quiet.

It’s always the same. I smiled. Because I knew he was.

He splashed his hand through the water and flung it toward me. Showering me with icy drops.

I threw my hands up to shield myself, giggling as I tried to duck away.

He stole my hand to help me up. Keeping me close to him as we took off in a run again. Going further down the ravine than I remembered us ever doing before.

I was laughing with abandon, my glee mounting. Even though I knew straying this far would surely get me in trouble I couldn’t bring myself to care when I felt this alive.

He reached up and caught the back of my head, leading it downward to get me to duck. I felt the brush of something hard above me ruffling bits of my hair and I recognized the chilly feeling of stone under my other hand.

We’re under a rock. I realized. I was careful to follow his lead exactly as he showed me how. I dutifully did as he bid without a word.

There was a wild swish of the wind before it abruptly stopped. The grove silenced and there was only the vibration in the ground from the rushing water of the river he’d shown me. Even that was in the distance now.

We moved forward until he stopped us again.

I used my senses to the best of my ability.

Ping.

Ping.

That repeated tap was steady. It was the only thing I could perceive now. It was the sheer absence of all other sound and the chilly air that told me we were in a cave.

I didn’t know there was a cave so close to home. I was already fascinated. I wished I could smell better. All I could catch was the stinging scent of something acrid. Though I was sure many animals had come and gone from here.

There are probably a million stories of the creatures that once lived here…If only I could smell like the other wolves.

He said something. One short word and he tugged my hand.

We walked slower, his step became more careful.

Now everything had grown even blacker now than it usually was. Which made me think that this place was absent any light. And judging by how carefully he moved, there must not have been any refracting light to catch in his wolf’s gaze.

Unless he’s not a wolf. I had always assumed he was. Not many creatures would dare to draw this close to pack territory if they weren’t. Still, I was forever curious about him.

The nature of being unable to see or hear him. I supposed. I was forever curious about everyone.

But I was sure that I occasionally heard his paws approaching. Sometimes I even caught the faint, musky scent of fur and animal. Which made me more certain.

He’s a wolf.

He led me through the stone corridors until we reached a place where the walls seemed to peel open further, and the scent of sulfur stung my dulled senses. Revealing that we were deeper in the cave.

He caught my wrist and guided it me something that luminesced a light blue. Somehow bright in the impossible blackness.

I put an arm up to block my face, finding it almost painful after so much darkness.

This time, when my hand brushed the surface of water, I was stunned by the warmth of it. It felt nearly like skin, it was so warm. And it was somehow thick, still. Beckoning me to press my hand in further.

I sighed in bliss as I delved my arm further in. I could see the lights forming around my shoulder. They seemed to brighten from within the water but still couldn’t reach the darkest corners of this stone chamber. As if they only brightened for us.

How is that possible? I wondered in fascination. I blinked several times but the white haze at the border of my gaze blocked everything but what was directly before me. And even that was merely shadows.

I heard that tick, tick, tick, tick of his laughter. Those four low notes I knew so well.

I dunked my other arm and made another contented sound. Even happier by the warmth along both.

He stood next to me. Allowing me time to enjoy the soothing caress of the water.

“I wish I could see it.”

There were rumbling notes I thought I could almost tell were words, but the slight slosh of the water masked them.

I concentrated harder and still couldn’t tell what he said as he murmured something else.

I just want to hear him. I yearned for it so badly.  

My heart was beginning to pound quicker with the frustration of not being able to.

I chewed my cheek and went back to looking at the water. Wanting to focus on how good the water felt.

I could feel bones beginning to move under my skin. Even feel the unfurling of the familiar creature inside me. Trying to bloom. Like a flower whose center yearned for the sunlight but it was too weak and deformed to ever emerge.

Still, it longed for a peek. But like all things about me, it was restrained by the weakness of my human body.

I knew what would happen if I tried to give in to its yearning.

The boy must’ve been able to tell. He put a hand on my shoulder. Comforting me.

I gave him a pained look. “I can’t change. Or the others will come kill me because I’m broken.”

He caught my head in his youthful hands and began petting my hair from front to back until all the racing of my heart calmed and the beast in me was lulled back into slumber.

I almost felt bad for that part of me. Like me, it just wants to see, to hear, to feel.

At least I get to feel...

She, the thing inside me, had never once gotten to breathe her own air or feel her body. The few times I’d tried to let her she’d made it to just under my skin but she could never climb past that. I could feel her twisted limbs trying to change my legs and her disjointed jaw trying to push through my mouth, but she was never strong enough to manage it.

It was painful. And it was sad.

Frustrated with myself, I grunted and pulled my arms out of the water. Shoulders slumping and arms drooping as I faced him, unable to hide that I was so forlorn.

I heard more muttered tones that told me he was speaking to me again.

“I wish I could hear you!” I said desperately.

What is he saying? I would’ve loved to know what he had to say to me. I was sure that whatever he wanted to talk about would’ve been just as fascinating as he was.

In response to my comment, I heard the familiar tick, tick, tick, tick. He’s laughing at me.

“I bet this place is so beautiful!” I bemoaned the fact that I couldn’t see it.

I heard one long hum and recognized it as a sound that I often heard. Someone agreeing with me.

That means it is beautiful. I sighed wistfully. I knew it.